got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize