Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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