i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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