I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
