Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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