your parents love me but you hate me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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