It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
