I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
