his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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