despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
