It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
why is half of my head shaved?
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