he thought i was a dude.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
