Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
as a side note pls kill me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
