One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize