i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
