I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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