i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
