Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
