i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
