We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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