I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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