I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
