I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a hot homeless man
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
