dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
