nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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