nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
