You work out of a Hotel?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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