At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
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I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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