she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
