you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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