Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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