There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
