I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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