Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
