Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
