Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
