You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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