He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i need some magic done to my vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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