dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
