I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
