so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job