Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
