Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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