I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
