I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
