What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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