just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
