so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
