the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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