so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
