Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
