Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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