put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
