I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
