Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he thought i was a dude.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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