I wish life had little blips of pornography
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE