I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying