Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.