They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
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I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.