Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!