Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Of course I have a pirate flag
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
