I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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