oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
