I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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