i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize
