I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
