My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
