it's like iHOP with fire
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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